How was my weekend, you ask?

Well, Jadyn and I went out to a local club Saturday night to meet some friends of ours and have a few drinks, and I learned what it actually takes to keep a group of 30ish to 40something lesbians entertained for hours.

Angelina Jolie in a bikini?

Hmm. Nice, but really, that's overkill.

Women's basketball?

Also a perennial favorite, but there just wasn't a court available and no game on tv either.

And nope, we didn't disassemble a car engine and discuss carburetors.

We played The Balloon Game. Now, you may think that involved scantily clad women, but you'd be wrong. It involved a literal balloon, and a table full of lesbians trying to see how long they could keep it up in the air. The scantily clad women were all up on the dance floor, sweating and grinding, but we paid them no attention. It was all about the balloon...for about an hour. Then, just when it was starting to get boring, someone came up with the idea of using these little glow sticks to bat the balloon with, rather than our hands. This added an element of skill to the whole thing and we were off and running for another hour or so.

I'm not sure who won. I did hear someone at some point say, 'that's a point for us' when the balloon hit the floor, but I was never clear on whether I was part of 'us' or 'them'. I just know that when the balloon came my way, if I failed to bat it in a timely manner, I would be reprimanded.

I do hate to be reprimanded.

Another little sidebar to our evening out Saturday was what I like to call The Battle of the Femmes. A friend of mine, who is somewhat of a femmey type, was admiring Jadyn's fingernails. Then Jadyn admired the friend's fingernails...but since Jadyn's were two toned with a design on them and hers were just one color, the friend, needing to make points in The Battle of the Femmes, whipped off her shoe to show off her toenail polish. Jadyn, not to be outdone, tugged her shoe off and attempted to put her foot on the table where her toenail polish could be appropriately admired.

Unfortunately, she didn't quite get her foot ON the table as much as she pushed it INTO the table...which resulted in an entire Long Island Iced Tea crashing into my friend's lap, pretty well drenching her. This ultimately led to the friend ending the evening with her wet underwear in her purse. (I've heard of that happening before, but I think the circumstances are usually a bit different).

But I'd say that Jadyn won the battle, by forfeit if nothing else.

I think next time we go out, I'm going to bring a softball and a couple of gloves to pass the time. Oh, and I'll also remember to wear my raingear.