Speaking of primates...

I spent nearly three hours last night grooming my mate. I removed a couple hundred microbraids from Jadyn's hair. It was tedious, yet strangely gratifying. I had to take scissors and snip off the ends of the braids, then unravel them with a hairpin, and finally pull the 'Not Jadyn's Hair' out from betwixt the real hair and throw it in a trash can. My hands were aching by the time I was done.

We started off with me on the coffee table and Jadyn sitting in the floor in front of me, taking the ones in front out herself, but then my back started to hurt so we relocated to the couch, with her head in my lap. I think I would have happily carried on with the process most of the night if not for the fact that I finished up by 10:30 or so and there just wasn't any more grooming to be done. It was very relaxing. Jadyn commented later on how slow and steady my breathing had become while I was working on her.

All in all, it was very companionable and somewhat intimate.

It's good to be a primate.

So...earlier today I was on this planet somewhere in the vicinity of the Orion Nebula with some of my friends, and we were having a rumble with this other guy and some of his friends...an important rumble. The fate of the planet was hanging in the balance.

Now, I'm trying to sneak up on this guy (let's call him Bruce), but he's got his twitchy little friend Percy standing lookout, and his other friend Hoss between me and him. I know Bruce is a wimp, but I'm a little nervous about Percy and Hoss ganging up on me. What I need is for Hoss to go for a walk, and to block Percy's view of Bruce...so I come with this great idea...what I'll do is send my buddy Jimmy Liverpool out to distract Percy, and then I'll get my friend Rocky to lure Hoss outside. It wasn't a great plan because Rocky was almost definitely going to get killed, and Jimmy Liverpool didn't really stand a chance against Percy if Percy realized what he was doing.

What happened was this: Jimmy Liverpool goes out and starts jumping up and down making so much noise that I'm sure Percy's going to run right over him, but instead, Percy just stands there laughing. And then -- get this--Hoss goes off to take a whiz!! Right at the critical moment! Which is great because then Rocky doesn't have to go under fire, and then a couple more of my friends, Beulah and Dave gang up on Bruce while Percy's distracted and Hoss is off draining the lizard...and Bruce just gives up! Surrenders. He knows no matter where he goes, we got him.

And that's how me and my buddies saved the planet earlier today.

Ok, ok....it was actually about chess, but I figured everyone might be tired of hearing about chess.