Three days in a row. Yep. Don't faint.

When I noticed the date, I thought I might write about where I was September 11, 2001, but I've decided not to. I think it would feel trite and insufficient. It's hard to imagine how the world would be different if that hadn't happened because I do think a lot changed that day.

On a not entirely unrelated topic, I remember that I used to be terrified of nuclear war. There was always this undercurrent of anxiety that it was going to happen at any moment. Loud thunder in the middle of the night would cause me to wake up in a complete panic because I was sure there was a mushroom cloud nearby. Or how about the tests of the Emergency Broadcast System? Remember those? I was always so afraid that it was going to be the real thing. I hated the noise that test made. I would change the channel really quickly to make sure it wasn't on EVERY channel, because that would mean it was happening.

(Although I did hear an actual Emergency Broadcast on my car radio one day. Turned out to be related to a tornado. I hadn't even known that the Emergency Broadcast System existed for any other reason than to tell us the nuclear bombs were on the way.)

But what I'm getting at is that I was anxious all the time for years and years. At some point, I started to feel less anxious. The idea of nuclear war still terrifies me, but it only terrifies me when I think about it, and I don't have to think about it constantly. It's not always in my head.

Now I'm starting to feel the anxiety again. Not about nuclear war, or terrorist attacks, or anthrax or whatever -- I feel anxiety about the Tea Party. I feel anxiety about people who want to 'Take Our Country Back!'. For crying out loud - who do they want to take it back from?? Me?? Isn't it mine too? So what...it doesn't count if the people and policies that I support are voted for by a majority of others in the country? Suddenly our democracy isn't working anymore? I read somewhere where someone said there's a big difference between tyranny and losing an election. Yes. Listen Tea Party, I'm talking to you - if your side loses an election, it just means that you lost. It means more people disagree with you than agree with you. It does not mean that our government is broken.

So what am I worried about, specifically? Civil war. I don't really think deep in my gut that there's going to be a civil war. I think the vast majority of Americans just want to live our lives and not be bothered with a bunch of upheaval - but that doesn't prevent me feeling anxious about it anyway. It actually causes me to avoid the news altogether for weeks at a time. (Although I've recently discovered that the news is much less stressful if I just don't read online comments about the stories.) The problem is there seem to be an awful lot of lunatics in the world and an awful lot of people who will vote and act against their own self-interests because of whatever misguided notions about religion or what America is that they have.

I guess that's it. The country is full of a lot of misguided, misinformed, manipulated, and misled people. And they scare the shit out of me. I think they mean well, but they're scared too and they don't seem to know any better.

Which brings me back to where I started - 9/11. Without that, I don't think any of this would be happening. At least not in the way that it is.

How's that for a pretty good ramble?

Two days in a row!

Maybe it means something - maybe that I'll be posting more regularly!

But don't hold your breath. Really, it's just not good for you.

Well, sometimes it is. For example, I make it a policy to hold my breath any time I walk past someone who is carrying a lit cigarette, or who is coughing, or who just looks like they may stink. In those cases, not only do you have my permission to hold your breath, but I encourage you to do so.

I suppose it's time for one of those updates I post every couple of years or so. So let's see...where were we? Right. I was living in a college town in Indiana, I was in a great relationship with this hot chick who wanted to be called Kevyn in my blog, and I hated my job.

So where am I now? In a big-ass city in Indiana, still in a great relationship with Kevyn, and I still hate my job, but it's a different job and I don't hate it as much. Some days I don't hate it at all actually.

The move to the big city was prompted by the fact that not only had I been working there (and commuting from the college town), but Kevyn also ended up working there and hated the idea of commuting - so here we are. It's been an adjustment, but for the most part, we've enjoyed living here. We miss our friends back in the college town, but we try to see them as often as we can.

And speaking of kids (ok, I wasn't - but I was thinking about them which really should count. Seriously, who needs a segue?) Nate is starting what should be his senior year of college. Theater. My son is a thespian. He lives in the college town still (which will henceforth be known as C-Town) so I don't see as much of him as I'd like to. And really, that's typical too - he's always been a very busy guy and that hasn't changed. Hard-workin' kid.

Kevyn's kids are scattered hither and yon - her son lives in C-Town (graduated college last year) and her daughter is in school about 3000 miles from here. I realize I haven't written about them here before - but I will remedy that as soon as I think of fake names for them. You'll like them.

What else? Well, the economy. That's been pretty rough. Who doesn't know that though, right? I've been laid off twice in the past three years. I think I'm done with that now, at least I hope so. This job seems fairly stable and it's in a field I enjoy working in. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh - I almost forgot to mention that I lost 65 lbs about a year and a half ago. I don't look the same. It's been a while now, but I'm still not used to how I look in the mirror or in photographs. I'm pretty happy with this. Maybe next time I'll post about how that all came about. Maybe even...tomorrow?? Who knows. But like I mentioned before...don't hold your breath.

More soon.

I remember when I was a kid and I would occasionally torment my sisters. It was especially easy to torment my youngest sister - five years my junior and very prone to temper. I could, and did, provoke her just by looking at her. Literally.

So I would look at her, and she would scream, and our mother would say, 'Charlotte, stop looking at your sister!' And I would say, 'but I'm not HURTING her! And besides, she broke the legs on my Malibu Barbie yesterday!' And Mom would say, 'Look, you're older and you know better! Now stop looking at her!' And if I didn't, I got my ass busted.

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days - pretty much since I heard about the church in Florida that wants to have a big Quran burning. In case the parallel isn't obvious - the pastor of that church is a lot like my 12 year old self harassing my 8 year old sister just to hear her scream. He, and others, try to justify this in a variety of ways - the upshot generally being that 'this doesn't cause any real harm and besides, THEY'VE done worse!' But for cryin' out loud - that shit would not fly with my mother.

They know better than that.

And even though it's been a long time since I was a church-goer, there are a couple of things I remember pretty clearly. 1. Love one another. 2. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I am 100% certain that Jesus would NOT burn a pile of Qurans - because when you get right down to it, even though the consequences could be much graver, it's just a variation on the theme of sticking your tongue out at your little sister. It's petty and provocative.

And I'm tellin' Mom.