So...guess what's in my dresser drawer? The middle one, in the top row.
Give up?
Effexor.
http://www.effexorxr.com/ <-- if you're interested.
It's an anti-depressant. I can start taking it anytime I want.
My family doctor was kind enough to give me a month's worth of samples of the stuff to begin with. First, I put off picking them up for nearly two weeks, and now I've got them tucked into a drawer. On account of I'm still a little nervous about taking them.
And I feel SO much better now already. I've had a really good couple of weeks - moodwise.
But I have met me. I know what I'm like. And I know what these last couple of years have been like. I'm not really up for another slide into the Pit of Despair.
So...do I wait to feel crappy again before I start taking them? Or just take them now to ward off any impending crappiness? And if they work...how do I know it's not just my natural tendency to bounce back?
And what if I become a pod person? What if the highs and lows get smoothed out (suddenly I want to break into my rendition of 'Desperado') and what's left is some good natured thing that's just PRETENDING to be me?
Am I more than the sum of the chemicals swimming about in my brain and body? I hope so because I'm probably going to start taking the damn things.
Soon.
I just haven't decided when.
3 comments:
"Am I more than the sum of the chemicals swimming about in my brain and body?" Most definately. Strange you question that. Chemicals most certainly can't change the soul.
Why is it strange she should question that? No one knows for sure if we are or not and its a natural thing to question. You may be all sure of yourself but your certainty isn't based on reality, just your own ideas. You can't expect that to reassure anyone else who may have different ideas than you. I think it's a legitimate question of real concern. I understand her fear and thing it's good she is recognizing it.
Why is it strange she should question that? No one knows for sure if we are or not and its a natural thing to question. You may be all sure of yourself but your certainty isn't based on reality, just your own ideas. You can't expect that to reassure anyone else who may have different ideas than you. I think it's a legitimate question of real concern. I understand her fear and thing it's good she is recognizing it.
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