Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Last night I performed a Difficult Extraction, and I'm not even a dentist.

PB got himself stuck in a shopping cart. Firmly.

First he got bored walking around the store. Then he got bored sitting in the back of the cart. I'm pretty sure that's why he decided to wedge himself into the front of the cart...you know, that place where SMALL children ride while their mothers shop. PB is not a small child. He's only just turning six, but he's big for his age; tall and very solid. I'm not even sure how he managed to lever himself in there in the first place. The leg-holes were barely big enough for him to fit in, but once he got in there, there was no getting him out. The back of the seat was pressed firmly up against his butt and there was no wiggle room in the front either.

First we tried encouraging him to get himself out. He looked like he really wanted to be helpful, but he couldn't manage much more than swinging his legs and wiggling his behind a little -- none of which was effective at all. Then Jadyn tried to lift him out. I'm not sure what he weighs these days (he's not overweight, but he is, as I mentioned, SOLID), but lifting him is akin to trying to heft a small pony.

So no luck lifting him out the front.

I tried parking the cart against a wall and dragging him out from behind. No go. Then I tried lifting him from the front, which I knew was going to be futile because I'd seen Jadyn try it already. No surprise there -- still no go.

I asked him to get himself out again. Uh huh.

I tried pulling him out the front again.

I was just about to call for the Jaws of Life when Jadyn suggested that I just tip the whole cart over.

I reassured PB that I wasn't going to drop him and told him to hang on to me while I started lowering the cart onto its side. Poor kid clutched onto me so hard that he nearly succeeded in ripping the front of my shirt open, but through the sheer force of my amazing strength, I managed to lower the cart until it was on the ground, and PB slithered out.

And that's why I rock.

Also, I beat my phone at chess again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Let's just call you.....Dr. Jamie! Yea! I love how wonderful yiou are with PB. :-)